Portfolio roasts gallery
Legendary investors review real portfolios. Browse the latest roasts, then get one for yours.
Roast my portfolio
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3.5/10Druckenmiller Slams Your 58% Finance Bet and Heavy Buffett Home Bias
BRK-B · AAPL · AXP · BAC
12 assets · 2.4% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
5/10Druckenmiller Roasts Your European Museum: High Quality, Zero Macro
ASML.AS · NOVO-B.CO · NESN.SW · OR.PA
12 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Slams This 4/10 Safety Shield: Dump Gold for Productive Assets
VT · AGG · GOLD-PHYSICAL · VOO
10 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring US Tech Dominance
EEM · TSM · INDA · MELI
15 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3.5/10Pelosi Slams Real Estate Portfolio for Failing the CHIPS Act Test
PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · NEE · AMT · UNP
15 assets · 6.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett’s 5/10 Verdict: Why Gold and Bitcoin Are Dragging You Down
VTI · VXUS · TLT · BNDX
11 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
5/10Wood Roasts Clean Energy: Stop Buying Linear Value Traps Like NextEra
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · LIT
12 assets · 3.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Nancy Pelosi Rates This Crypto Portfolio a 3/10: Move to Semiconductors
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
10 assets · 6.9% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams This 3/10 Income Strategy for Risky Rate Bets
SCHD · LQD · AGG · O
11 assets · 5.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Pelosi Roasts This 5/10 Asia Portfolio for Missing US Chip Architects
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
15 assets · 8.2% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3.5/10Druckenmiller Roasts This 3.5/10 Healthcare Bet: GLP-1 Risks Exposed
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
13 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
8.5/10Pelosi Awards an 8.5 Score for This Tech and Semiconductor Strategy
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · AAPL
16 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett’s 7/10 Review: Strong European Moats but Lacks American Growth
MC.PA · ASML.AS · NESN.SW · MEUD.PA
14 assets · 4.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Is Your Capital Obsolete? Wood Slams This 2/10 Bond-Heavy Strategy
VTI · AGG · TLT · VXUS
10 assets · 3.1% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Why Druckenmiller Rejects This 91% Emerging Markets High-Tech Play
VWO · TSM · INDA · TCEHY
15 assets · 8.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8.5/10Buffett Roasts Your Finance-Heavy Portfolio: Stop Copying Berkshire!
BRK-B · AAPL · KO · AXP
12 assets · 14.3% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Warns This 3/10 Rate-Sensitive REIT Portfolio is a Trap
PLD · PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · O · NEE
15 assets · 5.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4.5/10Pelosi's Verdict on Your Green Portfolio: Buy Chips or Face Rejection
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · SOLAR-PROJECT
12 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
2/10Why Buffett Calls This 2/10 Portfolio Rat Poison for Your Wealth
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
10 assets · 3.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5.5/10Nancy Pelosi Roasts 5.5/10 Fund: Dump Gold for US Tech Tailwinds
TLT · GOLD-PHYSICAL · VOO · TSM
12 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts an APAC Semi-Heavy Portfolio: Sell Toyota, Buy AI
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
14 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett Warns: This 100% Apple Tech Portfolio Needs a Cash Cushion
AAPL
1 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5.5/10Buffett's Prescription: Fixing a 95% Healthcare Heavy Portfolio
XLV · NOVO-B.CO · LLY · UNH
12 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3.5/10Buffett Slams This Tech-Heavy Portfolio for Excessive Crypto Gambling
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · AAPL
15 assets · 9.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Wood Slams This 3.5/10 European Portfolio as a Tech-Free Museum
NOVO-B.CO · ASML.AS · MC.PA · NESN.SW
14 assets · 7.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Roasts Your 3/10 Income Strategy: Where Are the Semiconductors?
SCHD · VIG · AGG · JPM
14 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Druckenmiller: Why Your 96% Emerging Market Bet is a Macro Disaster
TSM · EEM · MELI · RELIANCE.NS
12 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your Value Portfolio: Why Legacy Finance is a Trap
BRK-B · AAPL · KO · AXP
11 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett Roasts a 6/10 Portfolio: Sell the Gold and Buy Productive Moats
VOO · TLT · VWRL.L · GLD
12 assets · 6.6% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Druckenmiller Slams This 4/10 Green Energy Bet as a Rate-Driven Trap
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · LIT
14 assets · 3.2% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Why Druckenmiller Hates This 3/10 Rate-Sensitive Real Estate Portfolio
VNQ · PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · PLD · NEE
14 assets · 1.8% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
2/10Buffett's Verdict: Is Your Crypto Portfolio Just Rat Poison Squared?
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
11 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Wood Roasts This Pacific Rim Tech: 3/10 Score for Innovation Gaps
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · EWJ
15 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Wood's Verdict: Why Your 83% Healthcare Portfolio is a Value Trap
LLY · NOVO-B.CO · XLV · UNH
12 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett's 6/10 Verdict: Dump the Bitcoin Rat Poison for S&P 500 Stability
VOO · VXUS · TLT · GLD
11 assets · 5.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Calls This 17% Crypto and Tech Portfolio Rat Poison
NVDA · BTC-USD · MSFT · AAPL
18 assets · 14.1% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Warns: Your Novo and LVMH Holdings Hide a Currency Trap
NOVO-B.CO · MC.PA · ASML.AS · NESN.SW
18 assets · 2.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring American Semiconductors
EEM · VWO · 0700.HK · MELI
13 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Why Druckenmiller Rates This Finance-Heavy Buffett Mimicry a 4/10
AAPL · BRK-B · BAC · AXP
14 assets · 5.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4.5/10Pelosi’s Verdict: Your AI Tech Bets Lack the Semiconductor Foundation
GOOGL · AAPL · HPQ · MP
12 assets · 16% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Criticizes Your Tech-Free 3/10 Consumer Staples Portfolio
SCHD · AGG · O · LQD
13 assets · 2.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett’s Verdict: Why This 5/10 India-Heavy Portfolio Lacks a Moat
AEL · INDRENEW · SABOOSOD · AAPL
26 assets · 10% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3.5/10Buffett’s 3.5/10 Verdict: Why Your India Tech Bets Lack a Moat
AEL · INDRENEW · SABOOSOD · AAPL
20 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Roasts Your 4/10 Clean Energy Fund for Missing Chip Stocks
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · SOLAR-PROJECT
11 assets · 9.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Portfolio for Drowning in Stagnant Bonds
VOO · VXUS · AGG · TLT
8 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams This 2.5/10 Portfolio Over Legacy Sector Traps
VNQ · PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · NEE · AMT
13 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Why Druckenmiller Hates Your Leveraged Asia-Pacific Tech Bet
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · EWJ
15 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Critiques a 66% Healthcare Portfolio: The Cost of Speculation
STARTUP-BIOTECH · XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO
10 assets · 4.3% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is an AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing to start. Every account comes with a pool of AI analyses included, and a roast runs on that pool: no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You type in each holding's quantity (the buy price is optional) or import a statement from your broker, and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL. If you use the pool up, more AI is the one thing in PortfolioGlance you can pay for; tracking and analytics stay free.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles). You can also pick one of six investing-style personas if you would rather be judged by a style than by a name.
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts, only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. You don't link a brokerage or bank account: you type in your holdings yourself or import a statement.