Portfolio roasts gallery
Legendary investors review real portfolios. Browse the latest roasts, then get one for yours.
Roast my portfolio
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Pelosi’s Verdict on Your 5/10 Portfolio: Stop Filibustering Your Growth
VOO · TLT · GLD · BNDX
13 assets · 8.1% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams Tech-Heavy Portfolios for Ignoring Macro Risks
MSFT · NVDA · AAPL · BTC-USD
16 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Nancy Pelosi Roasts a Luxury-Heavy Euro Portfolio Lacking US Tech
NOVO-B.CO · ASML.AS · MC.PA · NESN.SW
12 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Rejects This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring American Innovation
EMB · TSM · INDA · MELI
15 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi's 4/10 Verdict on Tech Portfolios Lacking Semiconductors
IWM · ARKK · PLTR · MELI
21 assets · 2.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Nancy Pelosi Slams Stagnant Dividend Picks: Why You Need AI Growth
SCHD · VIG · TLT · JNJ
15 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3.5/10Druckenmiller: Why Your Green Energy Portfolio is a High-Rate Death Trap
ICLN · NEE · SOLAR-PROJECT · TSLA
11 assets · 4.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Bond-Heavy Portfolio for Missing AI Tailwinds
VOO · AGG · TLT · VXUS
9 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Why Pelosi Slams This Real Estate Heavy 3/10 Portfolio
VNQ · PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · NEE · PLD
14 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6.5/10Buffett Critique: Why This 51% Tech-Heavy Asian Portfolio Scores a 6.5
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · BHP.AX
14 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Wood’s 4/10 Verdict: Why Your Life Science Portfolio Misses the S-Curve
LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH · XLV
15 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Druckenmiller Slams This 4/10 Macro Portfolio for Excess Beta Bloat
VT · VOO · TLT · GLD
10 assets · 8.4% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Roasts This 3/10 Portfolio’s Excessive Crypto Risk
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
12 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Why Buffett Gives Your Luxury Moat-Heavy European Portfolio an 8/10
MC.PA · ASML.AS · NOVO-B.CO · OR.PA
14 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Cathie Wood Slams Your Index-Heavy Emerging Markets Portfolio
TSM · INDA · MELI · EEM
12 assets · 4.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Buffett Roasts This 3/10 Tech Portfolio: 'Exterminate the Rat Poison'
NVDA · MSFT · SMH · AAPL
14 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood’s 2/10 Verdict: Why Your Dividend Income Trap is Dying
SCHD · NESN.SW · O · JNJ
12 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Omaha-Style Portfolio's Finance Bloat
BRK-B · AAPL · KO · AXP
12 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett's 4/10 Review: Too Much Clean Energy Hype, Not Enough Moat
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · NESTE.HE
12 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett Roasts Your Safety-First Portfolio: Sell the Shiny Rocks
VOO · AGG · TLT · EUNL.DE
12 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams Risky Asia Tech Exposure and Currency Blindness
TSM · 005930.KS · EWJ · 0700.HK
14 assets · 4.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Cathie Wood’s 3.5/10 Roast: Your Life Sciences Portfolio Lacks AI
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
14 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Druckenmiller’s 4/10 Roast: Your Macro Portfolio Is a Closet Index
EUNL.DE · VOO · EMIM.L · BNDX
16 assets · 6.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7.5/10Buffett's 7.5 Score: Too Much Real Estate in Your Essential Assets
NEE · EQIX · AMT · PLD
17 assets · 9.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your European Value Traps and Low 3/10 Growth Score
ASML.AS · NOVO-B.CO · MC.PA · NESN.SW
13 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Criticizes Your 87% Emerging Market Bet: Bring Cash Home
VWO · INDA · 2330.TW · TCEHY
16 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6.5/10Wood Critiques Your Crypto Overload: Why Multiomics is Missing
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
9 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
7/10Wood's 7/10 Verdict: Why Your AI and Crypto Portfolio Needs Mutation
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · BTC-USD
15 assets · 7.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Why Buffett Gave This Brand-Heavy Dividend Portfolio a Strong 8/10
SCHD · O · JNJ · VIG
15 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
5/10Wood's Verdict: Tesla and Enphase Can't Save Your Legacy Utilities
ICLN · NEE · ETN · TSLA
11 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett's Verdict: Your 6/10 All-Weather Portfolio is Full of Rat Poison
VOO · AGG · VWRL.L · GOLD-PHYSICAL
11 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Cathie Wood Roasts 3/10 Asia Portfolio: Stop Backing Legacy Value Traps
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
15 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Slams Ozempic Overdose: A 4.5/10 Healthcare Portfolio Roast
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
15 assets · 3.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett’s 6/10 Verdict: Ditch the Bitcoin and Gold for Real Moats
VT · BNDX · US-TREASURY-10Y · GLD
13 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Druckenmiller Slams Your Buffett-Cloned Portfolio: Where is the Alpha?
BRK-B · AAPL · AXP · KO
10 assets · 2.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7.5/10Buffett's Verdict: Is Your 47% Real Estate and Utility Fortress Safe?
PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · AMT · PLD · O
13 assets · 6.5% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3.5/10Druckenmiller Critique: Why Your 95% EM Portfolio is a Liquidity Trap
VWO · TSM · MELI · INDA
13 assets · 4.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett Review: A 7/10 for European Moats With High Geographic Risk
MC.PA · NOVO-B.CO · NESN.SW · ASML.AS
14 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Buffett Warns: Your Tech-Heavy 'Silicon Frontier' is a Crypto Casino
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · BTC-USD
14 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams This 3/10 Yield-Chasing Income Portfolio
SCHD · BND · AGGH.L · JPM
12 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Wood Roasts This 4/10 Energy Portfolio: Ditch VW for True Innovation
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · IBRDY
12 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6.5/10Cathie Wood Slams Legacy Tech Holdings: Your S-Curve Math is Wrong
ICLN · MSFT · AAPL · NVDA
16 assets · 2.8% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams Your 3/10 Asian Tech Bet: Too Much Tail Risk
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
14 assets · 3.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Slams Healthcare Overload: Why Eli Lilly Alone Won't Save You
LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH · XLV
15 assets · 3.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett’s 5/10 Verdict: Why Gold and Crypto Drown Out Your Tech Gains
GOLD-PHYSICAL · TLT · MSFT · NVDA
18 assets · 7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett Rates Your Income-Heavy Czech Stocks a 6: Beware Zero Cash
TABAK · VUSA · CEZ · SXR8
23 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Warns: Your 45% ASBISc Position Is a Marriage, Not an Investment
ASB · SNT · XTB · ETFBCASH
8 assets · 9.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Cathie Wood: 4/10 za portfel uwięziony w przeszłości i Berkshire
XNAS · VWRA · BRKB · AMZN
16 assets · 2.3% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is an AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing to start. Every account comes with a pool of AI analyses included, and a roast runs on that pool: no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You type in each holding's quantity (the buy price is optional) or import a statement from your broker, and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL. If you use the pool up, more AI is the one thing in PortfolioGlance you can pay for; tracking and analytics stay free.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles). You can also pick one of six investing-style personas if you would rather be judged by a style than by a name.
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts, only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. You don't link a brokerage or bank account: you type in your holdings yourself or import a statement.