Portfolio roasts gallery
Legendary investors review real portfolios. Browse the latest roasts, then get one for yours.
Roast my portfolio
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your 93% Concentrated Innovation Portfolio
CRCL · RXRX · RIVN · QS
4 assets · 12% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6/10Cathie Wood Reviews Your Portfolio: Why You Are Playing It Too Safe
VWRP.L · ASTS · ENSI.L · WSML.L
12 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
7/10Cathie Wood Reviews Your 24% Tesla Bet and Legacy Index Overlap
TSLA · GOOG · META · QQQ
41 assets · 7.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Is Cathie Wood Right That Your Utility-Heavy AI Bet Is a Trap?
CEG · VST · NEE · LEU
10 assets · 0.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Is Your Speculative Portfolio Actually Betting Against Innovation?
PTON · RGTI · LCID · QBTS
8 assets · 1.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/103 Dangerous Concentration Risks Cathie Wood Found in Your GLP-1 Bet
LLY · NOVO-B.CO · DXCM · LONN.SW
7 assets · 2.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4.5/10Wood Demands You Cut Micron: Inside a 4.5/10 Tech Portfolio Roast
MU · AMD · NVDA · CRM
7 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4.5/10Cathie Wood's 4.5/10 Roast: Ditch the Emerging Market Index Trap
VWO · TSM · INDA · MELI
10 assets · 5.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood's 2/10 Roast of a Safe, Bond-Heavy All-Weather Portfolio
VT · TLT · VOO · US-TREASURY-10Y
8 assets · 3.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
8/10Cathie Wood Scores Your 8/10 Crypto and MicroStrategy Portfolio
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
10 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Cathie Wood: Why Your 3/10 Omaha Moat Portfolio Risks Total Disruption
AAPL · AXP · KO · BAC
13 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4.5/10Cathie Wood o Twoim portfelu: Za dużo gotówki i srebra, za mało wizji
LLY · V · XTB · MU
10 assets · 14.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood's Verdict: Your Safe 2/10 Portfolio Is Stuck in the 1990s
SCHD · VIG · AGG · JPM
11 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your 1995 Portfolio: Why Dividends Won't Save You
SCHD · AGG · LQD · TLT
14 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Real Estate and Utility Heavy Portfolio
PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · NEE · AMT · VNQ
12 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
8/10Why Cathie Wood Rates Your NVIDIA and Bitcoin Portfolio a Strong 8/10
NVDA · MSFT · BTC-USD · ASML.AS
12 assets · 2.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your Legacy Dividend Portfolio: Fix the 3/10 Score
ASML.AS · NESN.SW · MC.PA · AZN.L
15 assets · 12.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6.5/10Wood Roasts Your Green Portfolio: Turn a 6.5 Score into High Growth
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · LIT
12 assets · 5.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Wood Roasts Your Index-Heavy Portfolio: Stop Investing in the Past
VT · TLT · TIPS · VOO
10 assets · 3.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Wood’s Take: Why Your 93% Europe Portfolio Is Stuck in the Past
ASML.AS · MC.PA · NESN.SW · AZN.L
12 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood: Why Your Index-Heavy Portfolio is Stuck in the Past
VOO · EUNL.DE · US-TREASURY-10Y · VWO
11 assets · 5.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Wood Slams This 3/10 Strategy for Ignoring the Innovation S-Curve
VOO · US-TREASURY-10Y · MSFT · GOLD-PHYSICAL
15 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your 4/10 Asia Portfolio: Ditch the Legacy Traps
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
14 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Cathie Wood Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Overloading on Dead Bonds
VOO · TLT · AGG · GLD
18 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your Net Zero Strategy: Stop Hugging Energy ETFs
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · LIT
14 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Wood Slams This 2/10 Income Portfolio for Missing the AI Revolution
SCHD · AGG · VIG · NESN.SW
13 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4.5/10Wood Scores Asia Semi Heavy Portfolio 4.5: Dump Toyota for Innovation
2330.TW · 005930.KS · BHP.AX · 0700.HK
13 assets · 4.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Wood Scolds Your 3/10 Score: Why Your Bond Strategy Fails AI Growth
VOO · EUNL.DE · AGG · AGGH.L
17 assets · 3.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
5/10Wood Roasts Clean Energy: Stop Buying Linear Value Traps Like NextEra
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · LIT
12 assets · 3.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Is Your Capital Obsolete? Wood Slams This 2/10 Bond-Heavy Strategy
VTI · AGG · TLT · VXUS
10 assets · 3.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts an APAC Semi-Heavy Portfolio: Sell Toyota, Buy AI
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
14 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Wood Slams This 3.5/10 European Portfolio as a Tech-Free Museum
NOVO-B.CO · ASML.AS · MC.PA · NESN.SW
14 assets · 7.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your Value Portfolio: Why Legacy Finance is a Trap
BRK-B · AAPL · KO · AXP
11 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Wood Roasts This Pacific Rim Tech: 3/10 Score for Innovation Gaps
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · EWJ
15 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Wood's Verdict: Why Your 83% Healthcare Portfolio is a Value Trap
LLY · NOVO-B.CO · XLV · UNH
12 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Portfolio for Drowning in Stagnant Bonds
VOO · VXUS · AGG · TLT
8 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams This 2.5/10 Portfolio Over Legacy Sector Traps
VNQ · PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · NEE · AMT
13 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Wood’s 4/10 Verdict: Why Your Life Science Portfolio Misses the S-Curve
LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH · XLV
15 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Cathie Wood Slams Your Index-Heavy Emerging Markets Portfolio
TSM · INDA · MELI · EEM
12 assets · 4.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood’s 2/10 Verdict: Why Your Dividend Income Trap is Dying
SCHD · NESN.SW · O · JNJ
12 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Omaha-Style Portfolio's Finance Bloat
BRK-B · AAPL · KO · AXP
12 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Cathie Wood’s 3.5/10 Roast: Your Life Sciences Portfolio Lacks AI
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
14 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your European Value Traps and Low 3/10 Growth Score
ASML.AS · NOVO-B.CO · MC.PA · NESN.SW
13 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6.5/10Wood Critiques Your Crypto Overload: Why Multiomics is Missing
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
9 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
7/10Wood's 7/10 Verdict: Why Your AI and Crypto Portfolio Needs Mutation
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · BTC-USD
15 assets · 7.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
5/10Wood's Verdict: Tesla and Enphase Can't Save Your Legacy Utilities
ICLN · NEE · ETN · TSLA
11 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Cathie Wood Roasts 3/10 Asia Portfolio: Stop Backing Legacy Value Traps
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
15 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Wood Roasts This 4/10 Energy Portfolio: Ditch VW for True Innovation
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · IBRDY
12 assets · 4.1% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is an AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing to start. Every account comes with a pool of AI analyses included, and a roast runs on that pool: no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You type in each holding's quantity (the buy price is optional) or import a statement from your broker, and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL. If you use the pool up, more AI is the one thing in PortfolioGlance you can pay for; tracking and analytics stay free.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles). You can also pick one of six investing-style personas if you would rather be judged by a style than by a name.
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts, only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. You don't link a brokerage or bank account: you type in your holdings yourself or import a statement.