Portfolio roasts gallery
Brutally honest AI portfolio reviews in the voice of legendary investors. Browse the latest roasts — then unleash one on your own portfolio.
Roast my portfolio 🔥
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Reviews Your 24% Tesla Bet and Legacy Index Overlap
41 assets · 7.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Is Cathie Wood Right That Your Utility-Heavy AI Bet Is a Trap?
10 assets · 0.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Is Your Speculative Portfolio Actually Betting Against Innovation?
8 assets · 1.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3 Dangerous Concentration Risks Cathie Wood Found in Your GLP-1 Bet
7 assets · 2.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Demands You Cut Micron: Inside a 4.5/10 Tech Portfolio Roast
7 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood's 4.5/10 Roast: Ditch the Emerging Market Index Trap
10 assets · 5.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood's 2/10 Roast of a Safe, Bond-Heavy All-Weather Portfolio
8 assets · 3.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Scores Your 8/10 Crypto and MicroStrategy Portfolio
10 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood: Why Your 3/10 Omaha Moat Portfolio Risks Total Disruption
13 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood o Twoim portfelu: Za dużo gotówki i srebra, za mało wizji
10 assets · 14.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood's Verdict: Your Safe 2/10 Portfolio Is Stuck in the 1990s
11 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts Your 1995 Portfolio: Why Dividends Won't Save You
14 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Real Estate and Utility Heavy Portfolio
12 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Why Cathie Wood Rates Your NVIDIA and Bitcoin Portfolio a Strong 8/10
12 assets · 2.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts Your Legacy Dividend Portfolio: Fix the 3/10 Score
15 assets · 12.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Roasts Your Green Portfolio: Turn a 6.5 Score into High Growth
12 assets · 5.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Roasts Your Index-Heavy Portfolio: Stop Investing in the Past
10 assets · 3.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood’s Take: Why Your 93% Europe Portfolio Is Stuck in the Past
12 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood: Why Your Index-Heavy Portfolio is Stuck in the Past
11 assets · 5.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Slams This 3/10 Strategy for Ignoring the Innovation S-Curve
15 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts Your 4/10 Asia Portfolio: Ditch the Legacy Traps
14 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Overloading on Dead Bonds
18 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts Your Net Zero Strategy: Stop Hugging Energy ETFs
14 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Slams This 2/10 Income Portfolio for Missing the AI Revolution
13 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Scores Asia Semi Heavy Portfolio 4.5: Dump Toyota for Innovation
13 assets · 4.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Scolds Your 3/10 Score: Why Your Bond Strategy Fails AI Growth
17 assets · 3.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Roasts Clean Energy: Stop Buying Linear Value Traps Like NextEra
12 assets · 3.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Is Your Capital Obsolete? Wood Slams This 2/10 Bond-Heavy Strategy
10 assets · 3.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts an APAC Semi-Heavy Portfolio: Sell Toyota, Buy AI
14 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Slams This 3.5/10 European Portfolio as a Tech-Free Museum
14 assets · 7.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts Your Value Portfolio: Why Legacy Finance is a Trap
11 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Roasts This Pacific Rim Tech: 3/10 Score for Innovation Gaps
15 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood's Verdict: Why Your 83% Healthcare Portfolio is a Value Trap
12 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Portfolio for Drowning in Stagnant Bonds
8 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams This 2.5/10 Portfolio Over Legacy Sector Traps
13 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood’s 4/10 Verdict: Why Your Life Science Portfolio Misses the S-Curve
15 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams Your Index-Heavy Emerging Markets Portfolio
12 assets · 4.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood’s 2/10 Verdict: Why Your Dividend Income Trap is Dying
12 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Omaha-Style Portfolio's Finance Bloat
12 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood’s 3.5/10 Roast: Your Life Sciences Portfolio Lacks AI
14 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts Your European Value Traps and Low 3/10 Growth Score
13 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Critiques Your Crypto Overload: Why Multiomics is Missing
9 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood's 7/10 Verdict: Why Your AI and Crypto Portfolio Needs Mutation
15 assets · 7.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood's Verdict: Tesla and Enphase Can't Save Your Legacy Utilities
11 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts 3/10 Asia Portfolio: Stop Backing Legacy Value Traps
15 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Roasts This 4/10 Energy Portfolio: Ditch VW for True Innovation
12 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams Legacy Tech Holdings: Your S-Curve Math is Wrong
16 assets · 2.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood: 4/10 za portfel uwięziony w przeszłości i Berkshire
16 assets · 2.3% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is a free, AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing. Portfolio roasts are free — no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You enter your holdings as allocation percentages and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles).
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts — only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. There is no brokerage or bank account linking; you enter holdings manually and stay in full control of your data.