Portfolio roasts gallery
Legendary investors review real portfolios. Browse the latest roasts, then get one for yours.
Roast my portfolio
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Wood’s Take: Why Your 93% Europe Portfolio Is Stuck in the Past
ASML.AS · MC.PA · NESN.SW · AZN.L
12 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Why Druckenmiller Scored Your Apple and Berkshire Heavy Portfolio 4/10
AAPL · BRK-B · AXP · KO
12 assets · 3.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Eme…er
EEM · TSM · INDA · MELI
15 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Cathie Wood: Why Your Index-Heavy Portfolio is Stuck in the Past
VOO · EUNL.DE · US-TREASURY-10Y · VWO
11 assets · 5.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
2/10Buffett's 2/10 Verdict: Why This 67% Crypto Portfolio is Rat Poison
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
12 assets · 1.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Buffett’s Verdict: Too Much Crypto Rat Poison and Not Enough Cash
NVDA · BTC-USD · MSFT · ASML.AS
13 assets · 5.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett Critique: Why Your Speculative Green Energy Mix Scores a 5/10
ICLN · TSLA · NEE · COPX
12 assets · 4.8% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Hedging Against Returns
VOO · AGG · TLT · VXUS
9 assets · 5.7% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams This 3/10 Income Portfolio for Zero Asymmetry
SCHD · VIG · AGG · LQD
12 assets · 3.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett’s Verdict: Why This 4/10 Portfolio Bets Against America
GAB.SI · 0P00010NVR.HK · VSS · FESM
16 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Nancy Pelosi Roasts Portfolio: Why Your Anti-Tech Bias Earned a 3/10
GAB.SI · 0P00010NVR.HK · VSS · FESM
16 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Why Buffett Thinks Your 89% Asian Tech Portfolio Lacks a Safety Moat
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
15 assets · 6.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett’s 5/10 Verdict: Why Your Healthcare-Heavy Portfolio Is Risky
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
14 assets · 7.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Rejects This 3/10 Dividend Portfolio Stuck in the 20th Century
VNQ · XLU · AMT · PLD
15 assets · 4.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Buffett’s Verdict on ASML and LVMH: Stop Ignoring the American Engine
ASML.AS · MC.PA · SAP.DE · NOVO-B.CO
12 assets · 9.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Critiques a 97% Emerging Market Bet: Moats vs. High Risk
EEM · MELI · TCEHY · HDB
14 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Wood Slams This 3/10 Strategy for Ignoring the Innovation S-Curve
VOO · US-TREASURY-10Y · MSFT · GOLD-PHYSICAL
15 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4.5/10Pelosi’s Verdict: Ditch ARKK for Semis in This 4.5-Rated Tech Fund
IWM · ARKK · CRWD · MELI
12 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
2/10Buffett Slams This 76% Crypto Portfolio: Ditch the Digital Rat Poison
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
10 assets · 1.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Nancy Pelosi Slams This Green Portfolio for Missing the CHIPS Act
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · LIT
14 assets · 5.8% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3.5/10Druckenmiller on Why Your 96% Risk-On Tech Portfolio is a Liquidity Trap
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · AAPL
14 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Buffett’s 8/10 Roast: This Wide-Moat Dividend Portfolio Lacks Growth
SCHD · BND · JNJ · LQD
13 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your 4/10 Asia Portfolio: Ditch the Legacy Traps
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
14 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Slams This 78% Healthcare Portfolio for Missing the CHIPS Act
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
20 assets · 7.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Nancy Pelosi Slams This Real Estate Heavy Portfolio for Missing the AI Boom
VNQ · IPRP.L · O · AMT
12 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4.5/10Druckenmiller Crushes Euro-Heavy Portfolio: A 4.5/10 Macro Disaster
NOVO-B.CO · ASML.AS · MC.PA · SAP.DE
12 assets · 6.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3.5/10Pelosi Roasts This 3.5/10 Portfolio: Too Much Bond Safety, No Tech
VOO · TLT · VXUS · BND
9 assets · 2.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Warns: Your 95% Emerging Market Portfolio is Cliff Diving
VWO · INDA · TSM · MELI
13 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Cathie Wood Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Overloading on Dead Bonds
VOO · TLT · AGG · GLD
18 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett's Verdict: Ditch the Employer Stock and Build a Cash Moat
ESE · SOP · GOOGL · MA
22 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Why Druckenmiller Hates Your 21% Sopra Steria Stake and Zero Cash
ESE · SOP · GOOGL · MA
22 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
2/10Druckenmiller’s 2/10 Verdict: Why This Crypto-Heavy Portfolio is a Trap
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
12 assets · 8.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6/10Cathie Wood Roasts Your Net Zero Strategy: Stop Hugging Energy ETFs
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · LIT
14 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Buffett Roasts This Tech-Heavy Portfolio: A Speculative 3/10 Rating
NVDA · MSFT · AAPL · BTC-USD
14 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Wood Slams This 2/10 Income Portfolio for Missing the AI Revolution
SCHD · AGG · VIG · NESN.SW
13 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4.5/10Wood Scores Asia Semi Heavy Portfolio 4.5: Dump Toyota for Innovation
2330.TW · 005930.KS · BHP.AX · 0700.HK
13 assets · 4.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Roasts a 75% Healthcare Portfolio Missing Major Tech Gains
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
13 assets · 6.9% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett’s 7/10 Review: Why Your Hard Asset Moat Faces Rate Risks
PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · PLD · AMT · NEE
14 assets · 4.6% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams European Home Bias: Why Your Granolas Stocks Will Fail
NOVO-B.CO · ASML.AS · NESN.SW · MC.PA
12 assets · 11.2% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
4/10Druckenmiller on Your Portfolio: Stop Shorting the Dollar with EM Tech
EEM · MELI · 2330.TW · 0700.HK
11 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Why Pelosi Gives This Tech-Heavy $10M Dream a Low 4/10 Floor Vote
VUAG · SMGB · SOFI · GRAB
34 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3/10Wood Scolds Your 3/10 Score: Why Your Bond Strategy Fails AI Growth
VOO · EUNL.DE · AGG · AGGH.L
17 assets · 3.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Crypto Portfolio for Ignoring NVDA Growth
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
11 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Roasts Energy Fund: Why This Clean Tech Strategy Scores 4/10
ICLN · SOLAR-PROJECT · NEE · TSLA
13 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Why Druckenmiller Rates Your 97% Tech & Crypto Portfolio a Brutal 3/10
NVDA · MSFT · AAPL · GOOGL
19 assets · 2.8% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller Slams Your Dividend Trap: Why Your 3/10 Score Matters
SCHD · BND · VIG · LQD
14 assets · 3.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi's Verdict: Why This 4/10 Pacific Rim Strategy Ignores US Tech
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 9984.T
19 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Roasts 85% Healthcare Portfolio: Too Much Pharma, No Diversity
NOVO-B.CO · LLY · UNH · XLV
15 assets · 4.4% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is an AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing to start. Every account comes with a pool of AI analyses included, and a roast runs on that pool: no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You type in each holding's quantity (the buy price is optional) or import a statement from your broker, and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL. If you use the pool up, more AI is the one thing in PortfolioGlance you can pay for; tracking and analytics stay free.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles). You can also pick one of six investing-style personas if you would rather be judged by a style than by a name.
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts, only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. You don't link a brokerage or bank account: you type in your holdings yourself or import a statement.