Portfolio roasts gallery
Legendary investors review real portfolios. Browse the latest roasts, then get one for yours.
Roast my portfolio
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Nancy Pelosi Roasts Your 27-Stock Tech-Heavy Portfolio Score: 5/10
NVDA · SCHX · AMD · VTV
27 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts Your Portfolio: Why Your Tech and Banking Bets Fall Short
INTC · HBAN · NU · F
16 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Pelosi Analyzes Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio: A 5/10 Legislative Flop
AAPL · AMZN · MSFT · VOO
10 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Pelosi's Verdict: Why Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio Needs an Audit
TSLA · GOOG · META · QQQ
41 assets · 7.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
6/103 Risks Pelosi Spotted in Your 98% Tech-Heavy Portfolio Strategy
NVDA · MSFT · AAPL · AMZN
7 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Too Much Defensive Drag: Nancy Pelosi Roasts Your All-Weather Portfolio
AGGH.L · VXUS · SGOL · TLT
10 assets · 3.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Roasts Safe 3/10 Portfolio: Defund the Gold Bunker
VOO · US-TREASURY-10Y · VXUS · GLD
9 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
6.5/10Pelosi ocenia portfel na 6.5: Za dużo gotówki i brak Nvidii!
XNAS · AMZN · GOOGL · BRKB
12 assets · 22.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5.5/10Nancy Pelosi o Twoim portfelu: Za dużo srebra, zero gotówki (5.5/10)
V · XTB · MU · LLY
9 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi’s Portfolio Review: Stop Buying Gold and Fund Semiconductors
VTI · EUNL.DE · AGG · EEM
11 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
6.5/10Pelosi’s Verdict: 6.5/10 Score for a Tech Portfolio Missing Chips
MSFT · RKLB · FKIQX · QQQ
28 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
8/10Pelosi Roasts This Portfolio: Tech Gains vs Dangerous Crypto Bloat
NVDA · BTC-USD · MSFT · AAPL
14 assets · 7.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3.5/10Pelosi's Verdict: Cut the Crypto and Load Up on NVIDIA Semis
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
10 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Missing Out on Tech Tailwinds
VTI · AGG · VXUS · TLT
11 assets · 10.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Slams This 4/10 Green Portfolio for Ignoring American Tech
NEE · ICLN · TSLA · IBRDY
11 assets · 9.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4.5/10Pelosi Slams Your 90% Healthcare Portfolio: Where Are the Semis?
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
15 assets · 7.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Roasts 4/10 Portfolio: Too Much Gold and Not Enough US Tech
VOO · EUNL.DE · TLT · BRK-B
10 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Rejects Your Crypto Bets: Why Tech Anchors Beat Speculation
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
14 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Nancy Pelosi Roasts Portfolio: Why Your Anti-Tech Bias Earned a 3/10
GAB.SI · 0P00010NVR.HK · VSS · FESM
16 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Rejects This 3/10 Dividend Portfolio Stuck in the 20th Century
VNQ · XLU · AMT · PLD
15 assets · 4.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4.5/10Pelosi’s Verdict: Ditch ARKK for Semis in This 4.5-Rated Tech Fund
IWM · ARKK · CRWD · MELI
12 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Nancy Pelosi Slams This Green Portfolio for Missing the CHIPS Act
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · LIT
14 assets · 5.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Slams This 78% Healthcare Portfolio for Missing the CHIPS Act
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
20 assets · 7.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Nancy Pelosi Slams This Real Estate Heavy Portfolio for Missing the AI Boom
VNQ · IPRP.L · O · AMT
12 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3.5/10Pelosi Roasts This 3.5/10 Portfolio: Too Much Bond Safety, No Tech
VOO · TLT · VXUS · BND
9 assets · 2.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Roasts a 75% Healthcare Portfolio Missing Major Tech Gains
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
13 assets · 6.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Why Pelosi Gives This Tech-Heavy $10M Dream a Low 4/10 Floor Vote
VUAG · SMGB · SOFI · GRAB
34 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Crypto Portfolio for Ignoring NVDA Growth
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
11 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Roasts Energy Fund: Why This Clean Tech Strategy Scores 4/10
ICLN · SOLAR-PROJECT · NEE · TSLA
13 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi's Verdict: Why This 4/10 Pacific Rim Strategy Ignores US Tech
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 9984.T
19 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring US Tech Dominance
EEM · TSM · INDA · MELI
15 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3.5/10Pelosi Slams Real Estate Portfolio for Failing the CHIPS Act Test
PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · NEE · AMT · UNP
15 assets · 6.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Nancy Pelosi Rates This Crypto Portfolio a 3/10: Move to Semiconductors
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
10 assets · 6.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Pelosi Roasts This 5/10 Asia Portfolio for Missing US Chip Architects
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
15 assets · 8.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
8.5/10Pelosi Awards an 8.5 Score for This Tech and Semiconductor Strategy
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · AAPL
16 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4.5/10Pelosi's Verdict on Your Green Portfolio: Buy Chips or Face Rejection
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · SOLAR-PROJECT
12 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5.5/10Nancy Pelosi Roasts 5.5/10 Fund: Dump Gold for US Tech Tailwinds
TLT · GOLD-PHYSICAL · VOO · TSM
12 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Roasts Your 3/10 Income Strategy: Where Are the Semiconductors?
SCHD · VIG · AGG · JPM
14 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring American Semiconductors
EEM · VWO · 0700.HK · MELI
13 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4.5/10Pelosi’s Verdict: Your AI Tech Bets Lack the Semiconductor Foundation
GOOGL · AAPL · HPQ · MP
12 assets · 16% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Criticizes Your Tech-Free 3/10 Consumer Staples Portfolio
SCHD · AGG · O · LQD
13 assets · 2.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi Roasts Your 4/10 Clean Energy Fund for Missing Chip Stocks
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · SOLAR-PROJECT
11 assets · 9.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Pelosi’s Verdict on Your 5/10 Portfolio: Stop Filibustering Your Growth
VOO · TLT · GLD · BNDX
13 assets · 8.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Nancy Pelosi Roasts a Luxury-Heavy Euro Portfolio Lacking US Tech
NOVO-B.CO · ASML.AS · MC.PA · NESN.SW
12 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Rejects This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring American Innovation
EMB · TSM · INDA · MELI
15 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Pelosi's 4/10 Verdict on Tech Portfolios Lacking Semiconductors
IWM · ARKK · PLTR · MELI
21 assets · 2.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Nancy Pelosi Slams Stagnant Dividend Picks: Why You Need AI Growth
SCHD · VIG · TLT · JNJ
15 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Bond-Heavy Portfolio for Missing AI Tailwinds
VOO · AGG · TLT · VXUS
9 assets · 6.4% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is an AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing to start. Every account comes with a pool of AI analyses included, and a roast runs on that pool: no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You type in each holding's quantity (the buy price is optional) or import a statement from your broker, and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL. If you use the pool up, more AI is the one thing in PortfolioGlance you can pay for; tracking and analytics stay free.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles). You can also pick one of six investing-style personas if you would rather be judged by a style than by a name.
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts, only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. You don't link a brokerage or bank account: you type in your holdings yourself or import a statement.