Portfolio roasts gallery
Brutally honest AI portfolio reviews in the voice of legendary investors. Browse the latest roasts — then unleash one on your own portfolio.
Roast my portfolio 🔥
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Analyzes Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio: A 5/10 Legislative Flop
10 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi's Verdict: Why Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio Needs an Audit
41 assets · 7.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3 Risks Pelosi Spotted in Your 98% Tech-Heavy Portfolio Strategy
7 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Too Much Defensive Drag: Nancy Pelosi Roasts Your All-Weather Portfolio
10 assets · 3.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts Safe 3/10 Portfolio: Defund the Gold Bunker
9 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi ocenia portfel na 6.5: Za dużo gotówki i brak Nvidii!
12 assets · 22.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi o Twoim portfelu: Za dużo srebra, zero gotówki (5.5/10)
9 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi’s Portfolio Review: Stop Buying Gold and Fund Semiconductors
11 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi’s Verdict: 6.5/10 Score for a Tech Portfolio Missing Chips
28 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts This Portfolio: Tech Gains vs Dangerous Crypto Bloat
14 assets · 7.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi's Verdict: Cut the Crypto and Load Up on NVIDIA Semis
10 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Missing Out on Tech Tailwinds
11 assets · 10.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 4/10 Green Portfolio for Ignoring American Tech
11 assets · 9.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams Your 90% Healthcare Portfolio: Where Are the Semis?
15 assets · 7.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts 4/10 Portfolio: Too Much Gold and Not Enough US Tech
10 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Rejects Your Crypto Bets: Why Tech Anchors Beat Speculation
14 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi Roasts Portfolio: Why Your Anti-Tech Bias Earned a 3/10
16 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Rejects This 3/10 Dividend Portfolio Stuck in the 20th Century
15 assets · 4.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi’s Verdict: Ditch ARKK for Semis in This 4.5-Rated Tech Fund
12 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi Slams This Green Portfolio for Missing the CHIPS Act
14 assets · 5.8% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 78% Healthcare Portfolio for Missing the CHIPS Act
20 assets · 7.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi Slams This Real Estate Heavy Portfolio for Missing the AI Boom
12 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts This 3.5/10 Portfolio: Too Much Bond Safety, No Tech
9 assets · 2.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts a 75% Healthcare Portfolio Missing Major Tech Gains
13 assets · 6.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Why Pelosi Gives This Tech-Heavy $10M Dream a Low 4/10 Floor Vote
34 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Crypto Portfolio for Ignoring NVDA Growth
11 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts Energy Fund: Why This Clean Tech Strategy Scores 4/10
13 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi's Verdict: Why This 4/10 Pacific Rim Strategy Ignores US Tech
19 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring US Tech Dominance
15 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams Real Estate Portfolio for Failing the CHIPS Act Test
15 assets · 6.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi Rates This Crypto Portfolio a 3/10: Move to Semiconductors
10 assets · 6.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts This 5/10 Asia Portfolio for Missing US Chip Architects
15 assets · 8.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Awards an 8.5 Score for This Tech and Semiconductor Strategy
16 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi's Verdict on Your Green Portfolio: Buy Chips or Face Rejection
12 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi Roasts 5.5/10 Fund: Dump Gold for US Tech Tailwinds
12 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts Your 3/10 Income Strategy: Where Are the Semiconductors?
14 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring American Semiconductors
13 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi’s Verdict: Your AI Tech Bets Lack the Semiconductor Foundation
12 assets · 16% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Criticizes Your Tech-Free 3/10 Consumer Staples Portfolio
13 assets · 2.5% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts Your 4/10 Clean Energy Fund for Missing Chip Stocks
11 assets · 9.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi’s Verdict on Your 5/10 Portfolio: Stop Filibustering Your Growth
13 assets · 8.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi Roasts a Luxury-Heavy Euro Portfolio Lacking US Tech
12 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Rejects This 3/10 Portfolio for Ignoring American Innovation
15 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi's 4/10 Verdict on Tech Portfolios Lacking Semiconductors
21 assets · 2.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi Slams Stagnant Dividend Picks: Why You Need AI Growth
15 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Bond-Heavy Portfolio for Missing AI Tailwinds
9 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Why Pelosi Slams This Real Estate Heavy 3/10 Portfolio
14 assets · 2.3% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is a free, AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing. Portfolio roasts are free — no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You enter your holdings as allocation percentages and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles).
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts — only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. There is no brokerage or bank account linking; you enter holdings manually and stay in full control of your data.