Portfolio roasts gallery
Legendary investors review real portfolios. Browse the latest roasts, then get one for yours.
Roast my portfolio
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
Kevin O'Leary Roasts a Casino Portfolio: Why CRCL and VIX Will Sink You
CRCL · RXRX · RIVN · KHC
6 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
6.5/10Mr. Wonderful's Verdict: Why Your ETF Overlap Is Killing Returns
EQQQ · VUSA.L · VWRL.L · WINC
17 assets · 0.5% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
3/10A 3/10 Disaster: O'Leary Mocks Your Luxury Watch and Makeup Portfolio
OR.PA · RARE-WATCHES · SAP.DE · UCB.BR
4 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
3/10Kevin O'Leary Roasts Your 3/10 Portfolio: Too Much Defense, No Cash
RHM · ESLT · META · MC
48 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
5.5/10Is Your Energy-Heavy Portfolio One Regulatory Crisis From Disaster?
NEE · IBRDY · EDP.LS · GEV
9 assets · 3% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
2/10Is Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio a Financial Suicide Mission for You?
U · SE · NVDA · TTD
8 assets · 1.2% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is an AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing to start. Every account comes with a pool of AI analyses included, and a roast runs on that pool: no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You type in each holding's quantity (the buy price is optional) or import a statement from your broker, and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL. If you use the pool up, more AI is the one thing in PortfolioGlance you can pay for; tracking and analytics stay free.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles). You can also pick one of six investing-style personas if you would rather be judged by a style than by a name.
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts, only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. You don't link a brokerage or bank account: you type in your holdings yourself or import a statement.