Portfolio roasts gallery
Legendary investors review real portfolios. Browse the latest roasts, then get one for yours.
Roast my portfolio
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/10Druckenmiller: Why Your 3/10 Portfolio Is Built for Total Disaster
VWRP.L · ASTS · ENSI.L · WSML.L
12 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
6/10Cathie Wood Reviews Your Portfolio: Why You Are Playing It Too Safe
VWRP.L · ASTS · ENSI.L · WSML.L
12 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Pelosi Analyzes Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio: A 5/10 Legislative Flop
AAPL · AMZN · MSFT · VOO
10 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Roasts Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio: Stop Swinging at Mirages
ADBE · NFLX · TTD · NKE
10 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by The Dividend Grandpa
6.5/10Dividend Grandpa Roasts Your Growth Portfolio: Income vs. Compounding
SCHD · DIVO · SCHY · JEPI
5 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Peter Lynch
5/10Lynch Roasts Your Growth ETF: Why You Bought Income Instead
SCHD · DIVO · SCHY · JEPI
5 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by The Degenerate
6.5/10Degenerate Review: High-Stakes KKR Bets vs. Boomer Dividend Drags
KKR · ELF · NMRK · TREE
6 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Howard Marks
4/10Marks: Why Your Concentrated Portfolio Lacks a Margin of Safety
KKR · ELF · NMRK · TREE
6 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by The Momentum Chaser
6/10The Momentum Chaser: 6 Risky Stocks That Need a Reality Check
KKR · ELF · NMRK · TREE
6 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett Roasts Your Sensible Index Core and Speculative Tech Bets
VTI · VXUS · SPCX · QNT
8 assets · 0.5% cash
Roasted by Ray Dalio
4/104 reasons Ray Dalio warns this doom-prepared portfolio will fail
GLD · BIL · TIPS · TLT
8 assets · 21% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
3/10A 3/10 Disaster: O'Leary Mocks Your Luxury Watch and Makeup Portfolio
OR.PA · RARE-WATCHES · SAP.DE · UCB.BR
4 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
3/1074% in Three Assets: Druckenmiller Roasts Your Reckless Macro Bet
HOOD · SE · BTC-USD · SQ
6 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
5/10Pelosi's Verdict: Why Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio Needs an Audit
TSLA · GOOG · META · QQQ
41 assets · 7.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
7/10Cathie Wood Reviews Your 24% Tesla Bet and Legacy Index Overlap
TSLA · GOOG · META · QQQ
41 assets · 7.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
6/103 Risks Pelosi Spotted in Your 98% Tech-Heavy Portfolio Strategy
NVDA · MSFT · AAPL · AMZN
7 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Michael Saylor
3/10Is Your 93% Biotech Portfolio Just One Clinical Trial From Ruin?
CRSP · BEAM · NTLA · XBI
8 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
3/10Kevin O'Leary Roasts Your 3/10 Portfolio: Too Much Defense, No Cash
RHM · ESLT · META · MC
48 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/103 Dangerous Concentration Traps Warren Buffett Found In Your Aerospace Bet
AVAV · JOBY · AIR.PA · PLTR
6 assets · 3.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
3.5/10Is Cathie Wood Right That Your Utility-Heavy AI Bet Is a Trap?
CEG · VST · NEE · LEU
10 assets · 0.8% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
5.5/10Is Your Energy-Heavy Portfolio One Regulatory Crisis From Disaster?
NEE · IBRDY · EDP.LS · GEV
9 assets · 3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7.5/10Buffett's Verdict: Why Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio Needs Cash Now
VUAA · MSFT · GOOGL · AMD
19 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Howard Marks
5.5/1081% in One Region: Howard Marks Critiques Your Australian Bank Bet
CBA.AX · BHP.AX · CSL.AX · MQG.AX
8 assets · 4.8% cash
Roasted by Ray Dalio
3.5/10Stagflation Risk: Dalio Roasts Your Defensive Yield Portfolio Trap
VNQ · KDP · DGE.L · BATS.L
10 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Jim Simons
3/10A Polish Banking Trap: Jim Simons Unpacks Your Risky Concentrated Bet
PKN.WA · PEO.WA · GPW.WA · ING.WA
8 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5.5/10Buffett on Your Energy-Heavy Bet: Why 90% in Crude Is Playing with Fire
XOM · CVX · SHEL.L · ENB
8 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
2/10Is Your Speculative Portfolio Actually Betting Against Innovation?
PTON · RGTI · LCID · QBTS
8 assets · 1.4% cash
Roasted by Michael Saylor
4/103 Critical Ways Saylor Says Your Tech Portfolio Is Leaking Value
CRWD · PANW · FTNT · NET
6 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Peter Lynch
5/10A 5/10 Rating: Peter Lynch Grades Your High-Stakes Nuclear Portfolio
CCJ · CEG · LEU · UEC
7 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Peter Lynch
6/10Lynch's Verdict: Is Your Schwab-Heavy Portfolio Too Timid to Grow?
SCHZ · SCHB · SGOV · SCHF
5 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
4/10Too Much Defensive Drag: Nancy Pelosi Roasts Your All-Weather Portfolio
AGGH.L · VXUS · SGOL · TLT
10 assets · 3.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Why Buffett Says Your 60% Bond Allocation Will Kill Your Compounding
EDO · IUSQ · EDO i TOS · TOS
18 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Jim Simons
3/103 Mathematical Flaws Jim Simons Spotted in Your India Portfolio
RELIANCE.NS · INDA · IBN · INFY
8 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Buffett on Your Income Snowball: Why 8/10 Is Still Not Quite Enough
DGRO · O · ABBV · VYM
10 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6.5/10Buffett’s Roast: Why Your Global Index Strategy Is Being Undermined
IUSQ · TPE · IS3N · CDR
14 assets · 4% cash
Roasted by Ray Dalio
3/10Utilities Overdose: Ray Dalio Flays Your Fragile Danish Portfolio
NOVO-B.CO · NEE · FORTUM.HE · IBE.MC
9 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Kevin O'Leary
2/10Is Your Tech-Heavy Portfolio a Financial Suicide Mission for You?
U · SE · NVDA · TTD
8 assets · 1.2% cash
Roasted by Howard Marks
2.5/10Howard Marks on Your Speculative Tech Bet: A 2.5 Out of 10 Disaster
PLTR · CVNA · BTC-USD · HOOD
10 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4/103 Dangerous Concentration Risks Cathie Wood Found in Your GLP-1 Bet
LLY · NOVO-B.CO · DXCM · LONN.SW
7 assets · 2.8% cash
Roasted by Michael Saylor
3/1063% in Three Stocks: Michael Saylor Reviews Your Space Portfolio
BA · TSLA · AMZN · BBAI
9 assets · 5.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
1/10Why Buffett Calls Your 100% Bitcoin Portfolio a 1/10 Casino Gamble
BT
1 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Peter Lynch
4.5/104 red flags Lynch found in this defensive gold portfolio
VT · GLD · TLT · PDBC
9 assets · 11.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6.5/10Buffett's Verdict on This 6.5/10 Portfolio: Drop the Leveraged ETFs
VOO · QQQ · UPRO
3 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5.5/10Buffett Slams This Zero-Cash, High-Tech Portfolio with a 5.5/10
MU · AMZN · META · MSFT
10 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
4.5/10Wood Demands You Cut Micron: Inside a 4.5/10 Tech Portfolio Roast
MU · AMD · NVDA · CRM
7 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Why Buffett Rates This Micron-Heavy Tech Portfolio a 3/10
MU · AMD · NVDA · CRM
7 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Why Buffett Graded This Tech-Heavy Portfolio an 8/10 Despite 0% Cash
VUAA · MSFT · GOOGL · AMD
19 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
3/10Pelosi Roasts Safe 3/10 Portfolio: Defund the Gold Bunker
VOO · US-TREASURY-10Y · VXUS · GLD
9 assets · 4.3% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is an AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing to start. Every account comes with a pool of AI analyses included, and a roast runs on that pool: no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You type in each holding's quantity (the buy price is optional) or import a statement from your broker, and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL. If you use the pool up, more AI is the one thing in PortfolioGlance you can pay for; tracking and analytics stay free.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles). You can also pick one of six investing-style personas if you would rather be judged by a style than by a name.
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts, only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. You don't link a brokerage or bank account: you type in your holdings yourself or import a statement.