Portfolio roasts gallery
Legendary investors review real portfolios. Browse the latest roasts, then get one for yours.
Roast my portfolio
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Buffett’s Review of Income Harvest: Strong Moats vs. Yield Traps
SCHD · BND · JPM · JNJ
14 assets · 2.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett Roasts a 6/10 Asia-Pacific Portfolio Heavy on Tech Risk
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · BHP.AX
15 assets · 1.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Eme…er
EEM · TSM · INDA · MELI
15 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
2/10Buffett's 2/10 Verdict: Why This 67% Crypto Portfolio is Rat Poison
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
12 assets · 1.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Buffett’s Verdict: Too Much Crypto Rat Poison and Not Enough Cash
NVDA · BTC-USD · MSFT · ASML.AS
13 assets · 5.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett Critique: Why Your Speculative Green Energy Mix Scores a 5/10
ICLN · TSLA · NEE · COPX
12 assets · 4.8% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett’s Verdict: Why This 4/10 Portfolio Bets Against America
GAB.SI · 0P00010NVR.HK · VSS · FESM
16 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Why Buffett Thinks Your 89% Asian Tech Portfolio Lacks a Safety Moat
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · 7203.T
15 assets · 6.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett’s 5/10 Verdict: Why Your Healthcare-Heavy Portfolio Is Risky
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
14 assets · 7.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Buffett’s Verdict on ASML and LVMH: Stop Ignoring the American Engine
ASML.AS · MC.PA · SAP.DE · NOVO-B.CO
12 assets · 9.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Critiques a 97% Emerging Market Bet: Moats vs. High Risk
EEM · MELI · TCEHY · HDB
14 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
2/10Buffett Slams This 76% Crypto Portfolio: Ditch the Digital Rat Poison
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · SOL-USD · MSTR
10 assets · 1.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Buffett’s 8/10 Roast: This Wide-Moat Dividend Portfolio Lacks Growth
SCHD · BND · JNJ · LQD
13 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Warns: Your 95% Emerging Market Portfolio is Cliff Diving
VWO · INDA · TSM · MELI
13 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett's Verdict: Ditch the Employer Stock and Build a Cash Moat
ESE · SOP · GOOGL · MA
22 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Buffett Roasts This Tech-Heavy Portfolio: A Speculative 3/10 Rating
NVDA · MSFT · AAPL · BTC-USD
14 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett’s 7/10 Review: Why Your Hard Asset Moat Faces Rate Risks
PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · PLD · AMT · NEE
14 assets · 4.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Roasts 85% Healthcare Portfolio: Too Much Pharma, No Diversity
NOVO-B.CO · LLY · UNH · XLV
15 assets · 4.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Slams This 4/10 Safety Shield: Dump Gold for Productive Assets
VT · AGG · GOLD-PHYSICAL · VOO
10 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett’s 5/10 Verdict: Why Gold and Bitcoin Are Dragging You Down
VTI · VXUS · TLT · BNDX
11 assets · 6.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett’s 7/10 Review: Strong European Moats but Lacks American Growth
MC.PA · ASML.AS · NESN.SW · MEUD.PA
14 assets · 4.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8.5/10Buffett Roasts Your Finance-Heavy Portfolio: Stop Copying Berkshire!
BRK-B · AAPL · KO · AXP
12 assets · 14.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
2/10Why Buffett Calls This 2/10 Portfolio Rat Poison for Your Wealth
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
10 assets · 3.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett Warns: This 100% Apple Tech Portfolio Needs a Cash Cushion
AAPL
1 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5.5/10Buffett's Prescription: Fixing a 95% Healthcare Heavy Portfolio
XLV · NOVO-B.CO · LLY · UNH
12 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3.5/10Buffett Slams This Tech-Heavy Portfolio for Excessive Crypto Gambling
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · AAPL
15 assets · 9.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett Roasts a 6/10 Portfolio: Sell the Gold and Buy Productive Moats
VOO · TLT · VWRL.L · GLD
12 assets · 6.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
2/10Buffett's Verdict: Is Your Crypto Portfolio Just Rat Poison Squared?
BTC-USD · ETH-USD · MSTR · SOL-USD
11 assets · 5.6% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett's 6/10 Verdict: Dump the Bitcoin Rat Poison for S&P 500 Stability
VOO · VXUS · TLT · GLD
11 assets · 5.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Calls This 17% Crypto and Tech Portfolio Rat Poison
NVDA · BTC-USD · MSFT · AAPL
18 assets · 14.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
5/10Buffett’s Verdict: Why This 5/10 India-Heavy Portfolio Lacks a Moat
AEL · INDRENEW · SABOOSOD · AAPL
26 assets · 10% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3.5/10Buffett’s 3.5/10 Verdict: Why Your India Tech Bets Lack a Moat
AEL · INDRENEW · SABOOSOD · AAPL
20 assets · 0% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Critiques a 66% Healthcare Portfolio: The Cost of Speculation
STARTUP-BIOTECH · XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO
10 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6.5/10Buffett Critique: Why This 51% Tech-Heavy Asian Portfolio Scores a 6.5
2330.TW · 005930.KS · 0700.HK · BHP.AX
14 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Why Buffett Gives Your Luxury Moat-Heavy European Portfolio an 8/10
MC.PA · ASML.AS · NOVO-B.CO · OR.PA
14 assets · 5.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Buffett Roasts This 3/10 Tech Portfolio: 'Exterminate the Rat Poison'
NVDA · MSFT · SMH · AAPL
14 assets · 4.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett's 4/10 Review: Too Much Clean Energy Hype, Not Enough Moat
ICLN · NEE · TSLA · NESTE.HE
12 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett Roasts Your Safety-First Portfolio: Sell the Shiny Rocks
VOO · AGG · TLT · EUNL.DE
12 assets · 5.9% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7.5/10Buffett's 7.5 Score: Too Much Real Estate in Your Essential Assets
NEE · EQIX · AMT · PLD
17 assets · 9.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4/10Buffett Criticizes Your 87% Emerging Market Bet: Bring Cash Home
VWO · INDA · 2330.TW · TCEHY
16 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
8/10Why Buffett Gave This Brand-Heavy Dividend Portfolio a Strong 8/10
SCHD · O · JNJ · VIG
15 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett's Verdict: Your 6/10 All-Weather Portfolio is Full of Rat Poison
VOO · AGG · VWRL.L · GOLD-PHYSICAL
11 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Slams Ozempic Overdose: A 4.5/10 Healthcare Portfolio Roast
XLV · LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH
15 assets · 3.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
6/10Buffett’s 6/10 Verdict: Ditch the Bitcoin and Gold for Real Moats
VT · BNDX · US-TREASURY-10Y · GLD
13 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7.5/10Buffett's Verdict: Is Your 47% Real Estate and Utility Fortress Safe?
PE-INFRASTRUCTURE · AMT · PLD · O
13 assets · 6.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
7/10Buffett Review: A 7/10 for European Moats With High Geographic Risk
MC.PA · NOVO-B.CO · NESN.SW · ASML.AS
14 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
3/10Buffett Warns: Your Tech-Heavy 'Silicon Frontier' is a Crypto Casino
QQQ · NVDA · MSFT · BTC-USD
14 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
4.5/10Buffett Slams Healthcare Overload: Why Eli Lilly Alone Won't Save You
LLY · NOVO-B.CO · UNH · XLV
15 assets · 3.5% cash
Portfolio roasts — frequently asked questions
What is a portfolio roast?
A portfolio roast is an AI-powered review of your investment portfolio written in the voice of a legendary investor. It analyzes your asset allocation, sector and geographic concentration, diversification, red flags, and competitive moats, then delivers a verdict scored out of 10 — across an introduction, deep analysis, red flags, and final verdict.
How much does a portfolio roast cost?
Nothing to start. Every account comes with a pool of AI analyses included, and a roast runs on that pool: no credit card, no subscription, and no brokerage account linking. You type in each holding's quantity (the buy price is optional) or import a statement from your broker, and get a full AI analysis you can share at a public URL. If you use the pool up, more AI is the one thing in PortfolioGlance you can pay for; tracking and analytics stay free.
Which investors can roast my portfolio?
Twelve legendary investor personas, each analyzing through their own philosophy: Warren Buffett (value investing), Stanley Druckenmiller (global macro), Cathie Wood (disruptive innovation), Nancy Pelosi (legislative alpha), Ray Dalio (macro / risk parity), Michael Burry (contrarian deep value), Jim Simons (quantitative), Michael Saylor (Bitcoin maximalism), Kevin O'Leary (cashflow & dividends), Bill Ackman (activist / concentrated), Peter Lynch (growth at a reasonable price), and Howard Marks (risk & market cycles). You can also pick one of six investing-style personas if you would rather be judged by a style than by a name.
Is my financial data private?
Yes. A roast never shows monetary amounts, only allocation percentages, asset classes, and tickers. You don't link a brokerage or bank account: you type in your holdings yourself or import a statement.